I confess, in my weak spiritual moments I use humor to deflect and get me beyond my anxiety or nerves and even irritation (but I must watch the sarcasm in times like this). On my way to the Beijing Orphanage, I laughed at the though of the "lost" Americans, joking "at least their "found" but will they be?"
As I enter an institution I send up an arrow prayer like the cupbearer to the King (see Nehemiah) "God you got me into this you'd better show on up."
He does faithfully and it's interesting to watch how He behaves. Sometimes I will see His glance come across the face of a knowing child. At other times it will be through the arms wrapped around me in a welcome embrace.
He must have sensed I needed something special to erase the memory and trauma of the accident. The sinking feeling I had of a "Protector Father" and His unwatchfulness over me. His response and attention came at me like a steam roller in the body of a three-year old giggling girl. Her mouth deformed by a cleft palate, did not stop her from laughing and grinning a wide crooked smile. While the other children were friendly and excited they could not match her abundance of energy. She was a non-stop motion of flaying arms and legs. Using CARE EE's body as a jungle gym and gymnastic springboard. She laughed - jumped - laughed - hugged - laughed - touched the sparkles on my noise - laughed and ran around the back to play hide and seek with her red-headed friend.
I received His love through her. I took her enthusiam as His encouragement "I am glad you are here. I L-O-V-E YOU, this much. Have fun with me. Have some fun for me, show these abandoned and broken the delight, touch and love of their creator God. Go for it!"
When the performance started my little bundle of love sat right in front where she could get a full view of me and I of her! She kept me focused with smiles and giggles. At the end of the program I laid down on the floor and got "dog-piled" by the rambunctious two and three year olds.
But right across from me on the mat was my friend. We exchanged knowing glances and though He didn't audibly speak - in her eyes I saw His heart.
"Well done my good and faithful servant - enter into the joy of your Master."
then she broke out in giggles as we both got up to say goodbye.